I am a klerksdorp sphere

“’Let us go to Judea again.’ The disciples said to Him, ’… are You going there again?’” —John 11:7-8

March 28, 2012

What does it truly mean to have complete faith in God? I learned from this verse that there maybe things that God will tell us to do and it might not make sense, or in our understanding might be wrong or have a better solution. That shouldn’t be the way we follow God. If we acknowledge God to be perfect and all knowing then we must have faith in Him that He knows what He is doing (Jeremiah 29:11). We should lean not on our own understanding and do what God wants us to do despite our own thoughts. Being a Christian is comparable to being a soldier right? Then just like any soldier, we ought to listen to our general even if the orders don’t make sense at the moment. God with His mysterious ways will always come thru in the end and reveal to us why He made us do the things He asked us even if to us, it is weird or something.

“Come up here, and I will show you things which must take place …” —Revelation 4:1

March 27, 2012

What I learned from this is that the more I get closer to God, the clearer things are for me. Things about my life, about the thing happening around me, the stories in the bible and God as Himself as to why He is what He is is definitely much clearer.

Just like the line of the song “break my heart for what breaks Yours…”, there is definitely a big difference when it comes to seeing the world with my eyes and through God’s eyes. My understanding has drastically changed, the things that used to be acceptable are not and the ones that I found foolish is now something I admire.

To achieve such thing is to be pure, to be clean enough that God can feed me with His view and understanding. The level also increases as you stay within God’s presence… just like a friend that at first you thought was a loser, the more time you spend with that person, the greater you understand how and why they are - the same thing applies to God. There were things before that I agreed when it comes to people pointing out the flaws of the word of God but as I learn more and more about Him, I understand more and more why those things happened. Although as a mere creation of God, I do not have the right to question or for God to give reason as to what He does… but God is amazingly enough that all His deeds are justified and are right if you take the time to get to know Him.

“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” —Matthew 5:8

March 26, 2012

From my personal experience, being pure is very very crucial in terms of receiving God’s anointing, and feeling His presence. I have gone through a time where I was consistently doing something that is unpleasing to God and at the same time calling out to Him. I didn’t feel His presence for a while. It came to a point where I was so hungry for God’s presence that I realized that there are things in me that is possibly prohibiting that. I had to get rid of my bad habits first (the old ways has died the new has come) and I just continued to seek God. 

Just like the verse, I started to feel His presence, my passion for Him started to burn once again. Just like your average clothing… you don’t use or wear dirty clothes, you use the clean ones. For God to use us, we have to be pure so we can be holy.

“Where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal … ?” —1 Corinthians 3:3

March 23, 2012

This devotion today, what I learned could not be explained any better than what it said on utmost.org:

If the Spirit of God detects anything in you that is wrong, He doesn’t ask you to make it right; He only asks you to accept the light of truth, and then He will make it right. A child of the light will confess sin instantly and stand completely open before God. But a child of the darkness will say, “Oh, I can explain that.” When the light shines and the Spirit brings conviction of sin, be a child of the light. Confess your wrongdoing, and God will deal with it. If, however, you try to vindicate yourself, you prove yourself to be a child of the darkness.

Sometimes we justify our wrongdoings to make ourselves feel better: “I only swore because I am angry, it’s ok… I don’t curse that often.” or the main killer one these days: “I am just keeping it real, I am being myself”

It doesn’t matter what the reason is, if it is wrong then it is wrong. A robber doesn’t get away from the crime he committed because he said “I am keeping it real.” or “I needed money.” . The end doesn’t always justify the means.

“Did not our heart burn within us … ?” —Luke 24:32

March 22, 2012

My devotion today will be short for the revelation I have is very straightforward:

Does the fire in my heart really burn? Just like a real flame… my heart must be able to burn through anything if I maintain to feed the fire within my heart.

Basing my life through emotion will definitely be based on a heart filled with passion to live a life that is God-driven. Always put God first, feed my soul with His daily bread and maintain that connection with God so I can keep my pace with Him.

“I have been crucified with Christ …” —Galatians 2:20

March 21, 2012

What I learned from today’s devotion is something I used to easily misinterpret or something that is hard to grasp. Being “crucified with Christ”, “it is no longer I who live but Christ within me.”

As a devoted Christian, my life should clearly dictate this. Not the “I am crucified with Christ during Sundays.”, “I am sort of a Christian but I still want to do some things”. Living a life that is dedicated to God simply means that. Just like a soldier that is called to serve… resistance is breaking the law, treason? is it treason? I’m not too sure but being called and answering that call of God means to serve for His Kingdom and not for the blessings we get = more of Him and less of me. My faith will go far beyond a man’s faith in God but the faith that Jesus has given me. Following God is certainly a life decision… a lukewarm, a sorta, kinda is the same as nothing. Just like what the bible said.. we cannot serve 2 masters. It is either I let Jesus live within me or not at all.

“Shall I hide from Abraham what I am doing … ?” —Genesis 18:17

March 20, 2012

Reading utmost.org today gave me something new when it comes to being one with God. As a Christian that is hungry to be doing God’s will… I realize now that being one with God means I don’t have to ask for God’s plan to manifest or for His will to happen because I am bound with Him that I am God’s will, that every decision I make comes directly from God Himself and not my own. It’s like having a best friend and knowing everything about that person that when you were asked to buy food for him/her, you already know their favourite or what they would choose - should be the same when it comes to God. If I were to do something that is not of God’s will… I will simply have the restraint or I would be second guessing myself because I would be out of my equal pace with God. 

I will keep pursuing God until I get to the point where I no longer say “maybe this is God’s will, maybe not…”

“He went out, not knowing where he was going” —Hebrews 11:8

March 19, 2012

I learned in this verse that being led by God leaves a big deal of uncertainty because that is how my faith is going to be exercised.

Right now I am going to be honest, the past weekend, I was hit with worry and stress. I got these plans that would be my source of income/being self-employed and this past weekend I was hit with the fact that I am down to my last 700 dollars, how in May, my student loan repayment will start, I have to pay a speeding fine, I have to actually take my class 5 driver’s license since it is going to expire in May and how Emily Carr has not responded yet to my application.

This is what I am currently dealing with and it got overwhelming during the weekend… to top it all off, I was told that God has a 3 year grace period and after that 3 years He will take that grace away so that the person will be really desperate for God. Thinking about it, my grace started in 2009 so this year is my 3rd year.

Now I really want to praise God for assuring me that I just have to have faith in Him, do my best in everything and let Him control the outcome. Just like what God made Abraham do… it didn’t matter if it was to sacrifice his own son that he prayed for in so long.. He just believed in God’s wisdom, that God being the highest being that He is, he cannot question God’s judgement for as humans, we can simply not understand God because He is God. This verse has taught me that God is teaching me to have complete faith, faith that never waivers and faith that never flickers. I will continue to believe in God’s plan and not be consumed by my own. In fact, the uncertainty should be the exciting part. I have my course now and God will plan out my steps.

“… you are that one’s slaves whom you obey …” —Romans 6:16

March 14, 2012

What I learned from this verse is simple really… whatever I give into, it will take over me like a bondage.

If I yield to lust even for just a second, it quickly plagues my mind like a disease as it tries to tempt me to attain what I was lusting for (whether it is lusting for flesh or mind). Giving into things when they’re bad is what usually leads to addiction. Smoking, drugs, sex, it usually starts with yielding to curiosity then it’ll soon take over because of the short term sensation that it gives. It makes you want it more after the feeling fades - slowly but surely I transform into a slave to something that makes me sin, I obey my feelings, myself and my wants.

How do I stop that from happening? I must give into the humiliation that my lust brings, I must surrender it all to God for without Him, I will continue to be a slave to them. I am weak and I need God to break these bondages for me. I am weak because if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t have given into these things in the first place. The humiliation that it brings will serve as a reminder to not do it again. It will serve as a stamp that every time I even think of going back, I will be reminded of the consequences of what yielding to myself brings… just like a child who touched fire for the first time and got burnt knows not to do it again because of the hurt the child felt.

“For God so loved the world that He gave …” —John 3:16

March 13, 2012

What I learned from today’s devotion is that it is not only me that does the surrendering, God has already surrendered Himself to us by totally giving Himself to us (John 3:16).

Being Christian, I used to be so focused on being pure, not sinning but what I learned now is that if I totally surrendered my life to God, those things will just come naturally. The main goal of this “surrender” is that  by getting rid of my selfishness, I am in unison with my walk with God. I would totally be so consumed by God’s presence that every decision I make is automatically the one that coincides with God’s. 

God has given Himself to me and Him being God to do that is just for me… insane. His love for us made Him do that and the least I could do is try to pay it back. I said “try” because my life is not even enough.  

“Peter began to say to Him, ’See, we have left all and followed You’” —Mark 10:28

March 12, 2012

Sorry for the long title but it makes sense as I go through with what I learned today.

Total Surrender

I learned today that surrendering to God is not for my benefit and I am not talking about financial gain, happier life… but even down to my salvation, my deliverance from sin and from being holy. When a total surrender happens in real war, they don’t do it for personal benefit because they were at war in the first place for that (whether its individually or seeing a country as a whole). Surrendering myself to God should have only one focus, it is for the complete benefit of God. Surrendering my life for personal gain is selfish and it is not true surrender. I guess in a way, selfishness and worry comes from that too if I give up my life to God so that I may be blessed. God being who He is should be enough for me to give up my life to Him and that whatever happens in my life now that I am His’ should be accepted no matter what (look at Job’s life). God being the Father, I should be able to trust Him that He will use my life to His bidding which is more for the best of His Kingdom rather than what is best for my personal interests.

“Do you also want to go away?” —John 6:67

March 9, 2012

There are times where I am so spiritually low. I would be serving God through my commitments at church but it would only feel like I am working for Him and not with Him. I have come to realize that I am usually like this when I got so much things in my mind, when I am thinking and worrying about things.

Being with God truly means to be one with my walk with Him. There is really just one way in walking with God and that is with complete dependence on Him… other ways is just simply working for Him. When the times get tough, do I “want to go away”? If a moment where I feel like that clearly shows I am not being dependent on God. I probably relied on my own understanding of what should be thus disrupting my oneness of walk with God.

The utmost.org said it best “showing no concern for the uncertainties that lie ahead is the secret of walking with Jesus”. Whatever God has placed on me, I’ll just do my best with it, for the things I do not have… I will not worry for what it means to depend on God is knowing that He has something great in store for me. Do my best and let God control the outcome. Worry shouldn’t exist in my life if I am completely dependent on God’s plan for me. I shouldn’t ever feel to “want to go away” because “I got to do these things” which is taking on things myself and not with God nor leaning on my own understanding and going against God’s plan.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” —Romans 8:37

March 7, 2012

On moments that are not so positive, what am I at the time? Am I a coward who’s afraid to face the challenges or one who ignores them? or am I the champion God has called me to be and rejoice over these hard times?

If “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”, shouldn’t it be true as well that I am victorious more than conquerors because of the strength that God Himself has given me? In order to be more than a conqueror, as a Christian, I should have the courage that probably would be equivalent to more than 2 angry men (Ben Grimm relation). Rejection is just part of the outcomes that I will face in my life but having God in me, that is something that I shouldn’t be afraid of.

For someone so undeserving as I to receive this gift, I should definitely use it to God’s advantage and also to it’s full extent. In a way if you think about it, this is a guaranteed source of joy.  

“… in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses” —2 Corinthians 6:4

March 6, 2012

During hard/bad times… what is it that I or we normally think of? Is it automatic stress? blame? anger? sadness?

As a person with a different understanding, or seeing life in a different way, my reaction is should also be different. Just like the famous bracelet “W.W.J.D.” it applies to everything about me. What would Jesus do in this situation? on that? tomorrow? today? later?.. you get the point.

I have to train myself being a Christian to always be still and have faith in God. Never react with my emotions but instead lean on God’s understanding. I should let Him guide me into making the right decision regardless of how I feel. God just like any father, won’t let his child get burned if the child asks “should I put my hand on the fire?”

“He said to him the third time, ’… do you love Me?’” —John 21:17

March 2, 2012

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurts? It gets to the point where at that moment of hurting, you realize you love that person far more than you could ever express.

Honestly for me, I am starting to feel this way. Yes, I am continuously evolving as a Christian. I went from the person who didn’t have Christ to the person who knows that needs Him for my success to the person that realized that I should be loving God not because of the blessings but because of who He is to the person that is learning how to trust God with everything I’ve got to the person who is completely loving God beyond from what I currently know.

I learned from this verse that I should be loving God to the point that I am afraid to hurt Him because it will hurt me too. Knowing the fact that I hurt someone I love stabs right back doesn’t it? for if it doesn’t, then I don’t really love that person.

As I am backed to this corner with God’s question, I realize that my heart and eyes are fixed on God more than I ever knew. I may continue to fall but my love for God gives me this guilt, the passion to be better in His eyes.

“Do you love Me?” —John 21:17

March 1, 2011

As I continue to learn with my current struggles, this question can really pierce through my heart and soul.

I am in a tug of war with my worldly worries and trusting God. It hurts to think because in a way, I love God and yet I am here worrying about my application at Emily Carr, money, career, life, family. It has been an ongoing test on how much I love God, how the answer to the question.. am I really giving it all to God? 

Another bulls-eye as one would say is that do I love God enough to share His love to others? Am I ashamed of Him? Just like many other Christians, I am sometimes afraid to share His word to others because of ridicule and rejection… although I am aware that it is not me but God they are rejecting sometimes I still can’t help but feel this way. Loving God is to completely devote my life to Him in my opinion.. I mean, it is only fair right? He gave His life for me.. and as a person who loves, can’t I return the favour?

I know my God is working with my life right now… I just have to exercise more and more trust in Him that everything will be ok. I love Him enough that I should be able to do that.